Criticism

Dealing with the criticism and negativity is probably more difficult then actually trying to lose weight.
Honestly, I have many a time started to try and lose weight and failed, so my family just think I am always going to fail. I have grown up being called a 'fatty' and various other degrading names by family, despite the fact I wasn't overweight until I hit my late teens.

I'm not entirley sure why I gained all the weight I have. At first I think it was just laziness, and thinking 'I'm young I don't need to worry yet'. In my mid 20's it would relate to my depression, relationship break ups, lack of self confidence and self esteem. And then I just got to a point where I thought I would never be able to change this.

Over the last 12 months I have noticed more things I don't do because I don't want people to see how big I have gotten.
I didn't go to my 10 year high school reunion because I thought no one would recognise me now.
At my best friends hens night (as maid of honor) I sat in the corner because I was so embarassed to be out.
I don't go out on weekends with friends anymore.
I went on a cruise a couple of years ago, and I know I didn't enjoy myself nearly as much as I could have, because I was so self conscious and unhappy with myself.

I'm definetly tired of life passing me by! I'm still struggling with excuses. Like today I really want to try one of Michelle Bridges work out DVDS, BUT I currently live at home and if I put it on my PC they will hear the sound and come see what I am doing and most likely shout out some sort of 'joking' criticism.

I'm going to try do it anyway, even turn the sound down and close the curtains. Mish is going to kick some kgs today.

Well thats my short little burst for today. :)

Looking forward to : Looking slim and sexy and comfortable in my body.